Antoniette Costa knew something wasverywrong.
“I was losing a lot of weight without explanation, and I didn’t have energy to do daily tasks,” Costa, 39, tells PEOPLE in a recent interview. “I couldn’t even go on an elliptical for over three minutes. Plus, I had a ton of anxiety.”
And while there was thought of finding an excuse as to why the accomplished singer/songwriter was feeling the way she was feeling, the then 36-year-old instead decided to see a doctor.
“I actually went to seeseveraldoctors, and the third one suspected something was growing in my brain based on the blood work that was coming back,” remembers Costa, who made her mark on the music scene back in 2006 courtesy of her debut albumBreakthru. “Two days later, I got the brain MRI.”
Antoniette Costa.Marcus Maddox
Marcus Maddox
Little did the jazz singer know that the distraction would eventually result in the song “Pitupatter,” which now lives on her new album of the same name. “There is one line that people may think is about a guy that says, ‘You drown out every good sound with that big bad mouth,'” she notes. “I was actually talking to the machine.”
Nevertheless, it was that machine that would collect the data that would later determine what Costa was dealing with when it came to her health. “I was told I had a brain tumor growing in my brain, but that it was small enough that I could undergo treatment,” she remembers.
For over a year, it was that treatment that would go and wreak havoc on Costa’s body, with the Pennsylvania native experiencing everything from weight loss to mental changes to assorted vision issues. “That’s when I decided to switch doctors and healthcare systems,” remembers Costa. “I met with the new neurosurgeon, and he informed me that the treatment I was going through wasn’t working.”
Antoniette Costa.Dave Prokopec
Dave Prokopec
In fact, instead of growing smaller, the mass in Costa’s head had grown seven times larger than what the initial MRI showed. “The doctor told me there was a misread of the impression, and that I was a candidate for surgery,” she remembers quietly. “I was actually a candidate for surgery for that whole year.”
“I knew there was a risk that I wouldn’t be able to sing again,” remembers Costa, who remained in intensive care for nearly a week after the delicate surgery. “When you go into brain surgery, anytime you’re manipulating that part, you could hit something else.”
But a couple of months later, Costa was singing again. “I was just so focused on the music,” she says. “I was grateful to God, and I was determined to deliver on the promise I made to make more music. Even if just one person listened and resonated with my songs, my mission would be complete. I just needed to finish the process. That’s what kept me going.”
Antoniette Costa.Emma Craft
Emma Craft
So too did the lyrics she would write alongside Khari Mateen on songs such as “Crumbles (Soldiers Cry),” whose music video premieres exclusively on PEOPLE. “One of the lines of the song is ‘Hope crumbles at your feet, a spirit is freed,'” she says. “The song really explores the freedom in letting go of the judgment of others.”
It’s the way she must live now, as she looks at life so very differently than ever before.
“Every six months, I will have to get blood work, and I will have to get the brain MRIs yearly for five to seven years,” she says of the health journey that lies in front of her. “But today, I just feel like my normal self again.”
source: people.com