Couple Requests Guests Wear Black-Tie Attire to Wedding— Then Asks Everyone to Contribute a 'Dessert to Share'

Mar. 15, 2025

stock photo of newlyweds eating cake.Photo:Getty

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A couple’s wedding guidelines are causing a stir among some of their guests.

In arecent Reddit postfrom the popular Subreddit r/weddingshaming, a user claims that a friend was invited to a wedding that requested guests wear black tie-attire, but to also bring a dessert to contribute.

The wedding, which will take place on an October afternoon from 3 p.m. to 8 p.m. in a “northern state where it isn’t unusual to see snow that time of year,” the couple will be serving only “heavy hors d’oeuvres” as the meal, the user noted.

While the user said they understand making economic decisions while planning a wedding, this seemed to be a bit much. “Their families aren’t hurting for cash, but per my friend, the bride and groom are both known for being kind of greedy, so she’s not terribly surprised,” the post read.

stock photo of a dessert table.Getty

However, the Redditor claimed the dessert situation was even worse. “The icing on the cake (lol) is that, apparently, this is BYOD,” they wrote.

The Reddit community was quick to share their thoughts on the impending nuptials.

Another chimed in: “Can you imagine being in a [floor-length] gown at 1pm sipping fruit juice and eating some potluck cookies.”

stock photo of a groom getting dressed.Getty

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“Why do people do this. Either feed your guests or don’t have a party.”

“It’s rude not to accommodate the majority of [guests], then also ask to contribute,” another noted.

A third person called feeding guests a “priority. “If you [don’t] have the money, and you have a simple wedding in your backyard with [homemade] food no one would [begrudge] you the food options as long as they have enough because they can see you are having a modest wedding.”

“But if you have a black tie event you need to pay for food and drinks sorry.”

stock photo of a bride and groom holding doughnuts.Getty

“Idk why the ‘fruit infused water’ is annoying me so much lol,” another said. “I respect non-drinkers not wanting a boozy wedding, but this just seems so half assed.”

A third added: “Mentioning explicitly the lack of alcohol and that the hosts don’t want to pay for it seems tacky.”

Perhaps the most scathing comment, which summed up how fellow Redditors felt was: “I’ve had work meetings that sound better than this.”

source: people.com