Daughter Upsets Mom with 'Anti-List' of Gifts She Doesn't Want for Christmas, a.k.a. 'Things Not to Buy Me'

Mar. 15, 2025

Close-up of female hand tying a bow on Christmas gift in stock photo.Photo:Getty

Close-up of female hand tying a bow on Christmas gift. Christmas sale. Christmas preparation.

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A woman on Reddit says that instead of a wishlist this year, she’s giving her mom an anti-list — a list of all the items she doesn’t want to receive on Christmas.In ananonymous post, the 33-year-old woman writes that she is admittedly “difficult to buy gifts for.““I really don’t want more things than I have, I have so much stuff and nowhere to put it as it is (a recent move really opened my eyes to this),” she writes. “Plus, I’m financially stable enough and have cheap enough hobbies that I can usually just buy myself something when I want it.“After the woman’s mom asked that everyone in the family give her their Christmas lists early, so she can start shopping, the woman writes that she “couldn’t think of much I wanted.“Never miss a story — sign up forPEOPLE’s free daily newsletterto stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.Stock photo of a family on Christmas.Getty Images"While trying to come up with ideas for things, mostly I just kept dreading all the sorts of things I usually get for Christmas then have to find a place for,” she writes. “I decided to include a list of things not to buy me, figuring that might be as helpful as a list of things I do want. On the list I put things like ‘fun’ socks, Funko Pops, anything I have to assemble aka ‘Merry Christmas, I got you a chore you have to do now,’ throw blankets, jewelry, throw pillows, decorations, etc.“While she writes that she intended to add a few items she does want later, it was too late. The woman had added the anti-list to a shared family Google doc — and her mom came calling.“The day after I made the anti-list my mom called asking why I did that and complaining that I never like the gifts she gives me,” she writes. “I have told her in the past I don’t want these things and she’ll remember for a year then buy me a pair of slipper socks the next which then join the four other pairs I already don’t wear. I pointed this out and she complained about how hard it is to buy me gifts and that just getting me gift cards is boring.“The woman’s mom, she writes, “thinks it’s negative to have the anti-list and wants to delete itbut…my brother and his wife have both made anti-lists now, so have an uncle and a cousin. My brother also joked about a secret anti-list for their kids to avoid getting terribly messy or noisy toys.“The woman’s family as a whole, she adds, is “split” over the issue of anti-lists, though her mom is firmly against it.Now, the woman wants to know if she’s in the wrong.Commenters are split over the issue, with some saying it seems that the mom’s love language is gift-giving, and that the woman should just accept a gift and donate it if she doesn’t enjoy it.Others have suggested the woman add some items she does want, as she originally intended.“An anti-list is fine as long as there is also a decent do-list to accompany it,” writes one commenter. “Yours is currently incomplete, however, you do intend to go back and add more things. It’s simply a work in progress.”

A woman on Reddit says that instead of a wishlist this year, she’s giving her mom an anti-list — a list of all the items she doesn’t want to receive on Christmas.

In ananonymous post, the 33-year-old woman writes that she is admittedly “difficult to buy gifts for.”

“I really don’t want more things than I have, I have so much stuff and nowhere to put it as it is (a recent move really opened my eyes to this),” she writes. “Plus, I’m financially stable enough and have cheap enough hobbies that I can usually just buy myself something when I want it.”

After the woman’s mom asked that everyone in the family give her their Christmas lists early, so she can start shopping, the woman writes that she “couldn’t think of much I wanted.”

Never miss a story — sign up forPEOPLE’s free daily newsletterto stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

Stock photo of a family on Christmas.Getty Images

Are you the grandparent of a homeschooled kid or two? Are you wracking your brain for gift ideas that are more useful than toys that may be discarded by January? This gift-giving guide is for you! Maybe your grandchildren won’t get as excited about some of these items as they would about the latest action figure or the most popular doll, but these are gifts that they can use and enjoy all year long – and they just may find, as they year goes on, that they’re more fun than the latest fad toys after all. 1. Memberships. If your grandchildren live a zoo, aquarium, art museum, children’s museum, or a similar venue, consider purchasing a family membership. When my kids were younger, we loved such memberships, but couldn’t always afford them ourselves. A family membership to these sorts of places mean something fun to do in the cold weather months, year-long access to changing exhibits, and an educational option for those days when the whole family just needs to put the books aside and get out of the house for awhile. 2. Subscription services. There are subscription services for just about every subject these days – geography, science, history, baking, and so much more. Kids love receiving a package in the mail each month and many subscriptions are not only fun, but provide an educational springboard for further study. Some services to consider include: Little Passport History Unboxed The Magic School Bus Club The World’s Most Fascinating Rock Collection Raddish Kids Kiwi Crate GiftLit The Young Scientists Club BabbaBox Tinker Crate 3. Magazine subscriptions. A magazine subscription is another gift that will bring excitement to your grandchild throughout the year. There are dozens of wonderful, educational magazine choices for kids, but don’t fall into the trap of thinking that you have to choose something overtly educational. Most homeschooling moms would agree that nearly anything that gets kids reading enthusiastically and voluntarily is a great choice, so feel free to select a subscription based purely on your grandchild’s interests. 4. Big-ticket items. Homeschool families don’t have school fundraisers (though the thought has crossed my mind from time to time), so funding big-ticket purchases can be difficult. Consider purchasing things like: Microscope A graphing calculator Quality science lab equipment, such as beakers, test tubes, or even lab kits that go along with your grandchild’s science text. Home Science Tools is a good source for these items. I remember one time my dad and stepmom purchased a huge timeline set for my family. We were so excited because it was an extra whose cost we couldn’t justify at the time, but one that we really wanted and was versatile enough for many years’ use. Depending on your budget, you may even be able to purchase really big-ticket items such as a computer, laptop, or tablet as a family gift. 5. Art supplies. You’d be surprised at how quickly the cost of quality art supplies can add up. Delight your grandkids with quality supplies (not those on the school supply aisle at your local big box store) such as: Paints and brushes Markers Chalks or oils Canvases Sketch books, watercolor paper, or mixed media paper Kneadable erasers Pencils Canvases 6. Class or athletic fees. Check with the teaching parent to see if there are classes your grandchildren would like to take or sports in which they’d like to participate that aren’t in the family budget. Pay pay the associated fee (the class, itself, registration, equipment or supply fees) for Christmas. 7. Curriculum. Finally, there may not be too many kids who would be terribly excited about getting school books for Christmas, but curriculum can get very expensive very quickly. If there is a particular program that would spark your grandchild’s interest, he may thank you later for helping to make the switch. There may also be fun extras that your grandkids would enjoy, such as electives, that would be appreciated and enjoyed throughout the year.

“While trying to come up with ideas for things, mostly I just kept dreading all the sorts of things I usually get for Christmas then have to find a place for,” she writes. “I decided to include a list of things not to buy me, figuring that might be as helpful as a list of things I do want. On the list I put things like ‘fun’ socks, Funko Pops, anything I have to assemble aka ‘Merry Christmas, I got you a chore you have to do now,’ throw blankets, jewelry, throw pillows, decorations, etc.”

While she writes that she intended to add a few items she does want later, it was too late. The woman had added the anti-list to a shared family Google doc — and her mom came calling.

“The day after I made the anti-list my mom called asking why I did that and complaining that I never like the gifts she gives me,” she writes. “I have told her in the past I don’t want these things and she’ll remember for a year then buy me a pair of slipper socks the next which then join the four other pairs I already don’t wear. I pointed this out and she complained about how hard it is to buy me gifts and that just getting me gift cards is boring.”

The woman’s mom, she writes, “thinks it’s negative to have the anti-list and wants to delete itbut…my brother and his wife have both made anti-lists now, so have an uncle and a cousin. My brother also joked about a secret anti-list for their kids to avoid getting terribly messy or noisy toys.”

The woman’s family as a whole, she adds, is “split” over the issue of anti-lists, though her mom is firmly against it.

Now, the woman wants to know if she’s in the wrong.

Commenters are split over the issue, with some saying it seems that the mom’s love language is gift-giving, and that the woman should just accept a gift and donate it if she doesn’t enjoy it.

Others have suggested the woman add some items she does want, as she originally intended.

“An anti-list is fine as long as there is also a decent do-list to accompany it,” writes one commenter. “Yours is currently incomplete, however, you do intend to go back and add more things. It’s simply a work in progress.”

source: people.com