Moms Behind 'She Deserved the Purse' TikTok Trend Reflect on Its Meaning — and How Some Made It 'Something Ugly' (Exclusive)

Mar. 15, 2025

Cecily Bauchmann (L) and Denaesha Gonzalez (R) take a selfie.Photo:Courtesy of Cecily Bauchmann

Courtesy of Cecily Bauchmann

“It wasn’t something I overlooked anymore; it was a time to appreciate and reflect. I thought, ‘Oh my gosh, I’ve been here before,’ " Gonzalez tells PEOPLE exclusively.

That moment sparked something for her. She decided to post a video of the bag on TikTok, captioning it, “She deserved the purse.” She hoped the video would reach at least one mom and remind her of the sacrifices many make along the way. To her surprise, the video went viral, reaching more than 25 million people.

One of those viewers was mom and content creatorCecily Bauchmann, whom Gonzalez had previously met in person when she moved from Missouri to Nashville in July 2023.

Cecily Bauchmann (L) and Denaesha Gonzalez (R) take a selfie.Courtesy of Cecily Bauchmann

She hesitated about whether to record the moment and post it on social media, but knowing she had a larger audience on TikTok and Instagram, she thought, “If I could inspire others to give to moms, why not just go ahead and film it?”

“One mom mentioned that she hasn’t had her hair done in years, and another mom from the same area offered her hair salon services to help,” she adds. “Just to see women empowering and supporting each other is amazing.”

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Since going viral, Gonzalez and Bauchmann have both been able to connect with some of the moms who discovered the gift cards on social media.

One single mom reached out to them, sharing how she was having a really rough day when she found a gift card at Walmart. “To walk out of Walmart and receive a mom’s care gift from this trend really touched her,” Gonzalez says. “She was experiencing self-doubt and feeling like she wasn’t a good mom, and then to walk outside and hear the complete opposite was just really special to her.”

“I’m disappointed and I was trying to help a new mom. I just did this yesterday and the Target got ransacked,” Mckensey captioned her video.

Photo of note Cecily Bauchmann left in Target with gift card.Courtesy of Cecily Bauchmann

For Gonzalez, this behavior feels disrespectful, because the entire initiative is based on mothers giving back and taking care of themselves while navigating the challenges of parenting.

“I think that kind of behavior … adds another layer of stress,” Gonzalez says. “Now I have to go to another store because diapers have been damaged, or the only formula available has been opened. It detracts from the essence of what we aimed to create. I wish people would stop doing this because it started off as something so beautiful and pure, but some have made it into something ugly.”

Since noticing the backlash, Bauchmann adds how the duo has talked about other ways they can spread their mission instead of just leaving money inside diaper boxes and formula bins.

“We have really done a good job of thinking through how can we do better at this,” Bauchmann says. “What we’ve started to see is people, giving shoppers, paying for them or being able to give a gift card at checkout, things like that, is starting to become a bigger trend.”

Looking back on her initial TikTok, Gonzalez says she struggled for a long time to find the right caption.

She wanted the message to resonate with anyone who might scroll past it. After considering various options, she realized, “Wow, a mom potentially left this purse here because she had to sacrifice it. That’s so sad to me. She deserves it. She deserves to take care of herself.”

In that moment, she decided to simply write, “She deserved the purse.” Even though it was an accessory and likely not a necessity, the fact that a mother had to sacrifice something struck her deeply.

“It could have been anyone’s purse,” she reflects. “But when you experience something like this, you interpret it in your own way. To me, this purse represented a mother’s right to care for herself, and that’s what inspired me.”

source: people.com