Who Is Lyle Menendez's Estranged Wife? All About Rebecca Sneed — and Why She's Still Standing By Him Amid Their Separation

Mar. 15, 2025

Lyle Menendez and wife Rebecca in August 2011.Photo:Courtesy Eugene L. Weems

Courtesy Eugene L. Weems

After over 20 years together,Lyle Menendezand his wife, Rebecca Sneed,have separated.

In 1996, Menendez and his brother,Erik, were sentenced to life in prison for the 1989 first-degree murders of their parents,Kitty and José Menendez. Before they were sentenced, Menendez had already been communicating with Sneed via letters since 1993.

Menendez married Sneed from prison in November 2003. On Nov. 21, 2024, however, Sneed announced that she and Menendez had separated, bringing their two-decade-long relationship to an end.

Although Menendez has been behind bars for years, he told PEOPLE in January 2017 that his constant communication with Sneed helped bring him “peace and joy” while in prison.

He added, “I have a very steady, involved marriage and that helps sustain me … It’s a counter to the unpredictable, very stressful environment here.”

So who is Lyle Menendez’s estranged wife? Here’s everything to know about Rebecca Sneed and her relationship with the convict.

Who is Lyle Menendez’s estranged wife?

Lyle Menendez during trial of the Menendez brothers in 1994.Ted Soqui/Sygma/Getty

Ted Soqui/Sygma/Getty

A prison spokesperson told theAssociated Pressin 2003 that Menendez and Sneed had known each other for a decade before they wed, perNBC News. They communicated through letters while he was in prison.

In January 2017, Menendez admitted to PEOPLE that he felt “guilty” about what Sneed had to cope with as his wife.

“People are judgmental, and she has to put up with a lot,” Menendez said. “But she has the courage to deal with the obstacles. It would be easier to leave, but I’m profoundly grateful that she doesn’t.”

Sneed also manages the official Menendez brothers’Facebook page, which serves as a network of support for survivors of abuse and provides updates on their case.

When did Lyle Menendez and Rebecca Sneed get married?

Lyle Menendez.Kim Kulish/Sygma via Getty

Kim Kulish/Sygma via Getty

Menendez married Sneed in November 2003, according to NBC News.

But in January 2017, Menendez toldABC Newsthat they discovered ways to keep their marriage “healthy” behind bars.

“I’ve found I can have a healthy marriage that is complicated and built around conversation and finding creative ways to communicate, sharing, without all the props that are normally there in marriage in terms of going out to dinner and having as much intimate time together and so on,” he said.

What has Rebecca Sneed said about the brothers' case?

Lyle and Erik Menendez in Beverly Hills Municipal Court on March 12, 1990.AP Photo/Nick Ut

AP Photo/Nick Ut

Although she hasn’t done any formal interviews, Sneed frequently uses Facebook to share updates about the Menendez brothers' trial and ongoing legal battle.

“Lyle and Erik are not characters. They are real people who have been suffering trauma since the day they were born,” Sneed wrote onFacebook.

When did Lyle Menendez and Rebecca Sneed separate?

Lyle Menendez at Donovan Correctional Facility in San Diego, California on March 15, 2018.K C Alfred/San Diego Union-Tribune via ZUMA/Shutterstock

K C Alfred/San Diego Union-Tribune via ZUMA/Shutterstock

On Nov. 21, Sneed announced viaFacebookthat she and Menendez have been separated “for a while now” but continue to be “best friends and family.”

“Guys! This is NOT a cheating scandal … I continue to run his Facebook pages, with input from him, and I am forever committed to the enduring fight for Lyle and Erik’s freedom, as has been so evident over the years,” she wrote.

Sneed added that she believes “we all have the common goal of seeing the guys walk free,” writing that she will “never stop fighting for them.”

The source also noted that Menendez is now involved with 21-year-old Milly Bucksey, a college student from Manchester, England who wrote to him in prison and has “only visited him once in jail.”

source: people.com