Who Is the Menendez Brothers' Aunt, Joan VanderMolen? All About Kitty Menendez's Sister Who Wants to See Erik and Lyle Walk Free

Mar. 15, 2025

Joan VanderMolen in ‘The Menendez Brothers’.Photo:Netflix

Netflix

Kitty Menendez’s sister, Joan VanderMolen, wants to see her nephews,LyleandErik Menendez, released from prison.

VanderMolen vividly remembers learning that Kitty and her husband, José Menendez, had been killed in theirBeverly Hills home. At the time, Lyle and Erik had yet to be arrested for murdering their parents on Aug. 20, 1989.

“I got a phone call from my brother Brian, and he told me Kitty and Jose had been shot,” she said in Netflix’s 2024 documentaryThe Menendez Brothers. “I put the phone down and started running around the house screaming. I couldn’t bear it, and it’s still difficult thinking about it.”

VanderMolen was shocked to learn that the brothers were responsible for slaying their parents — but after the murders, she claimed to know horrific details about the physical, emotional and sexual abuse Lyle and Erik allegedly experienced at the hands of their father and mother.

“It’s very true,” she toldNBC4 Los Angelesin 2017 of the abuse allegations. “My sister could have protected her kids. That was her job.”

So, who is Lyle and Erik Menendez’s aunt? Here’s everything to know about Joan VanderMolen and her relationship with the infamous Menendez family, including how she has advocated for Lyle and Erik for over 30 years.

She is Kitty Menendez’s older sister

Kitty Menendez and Joan VanderMolen.Netflix

Joan VanderMolen and her siblings, Mary Louise “Kitty” Menendez, Brian Andersen and Milton Andersen, grew up in a suburb of Chicago.

VanderMolen and her younger sister Kitty were close — but they never discussed the dark things that occurred in the Menendez home.

“Kitty and I were on the phone weekly for hours at a time, but it was just sisterhood and we never ever went beyond that,” VanderMolen toldVanity Fairin October 2024. “We shared recipes and different stuff, but never about [the abuse]. I never brought it up. I knew it wouldn’t go anywhere because José ruled the roost.”

Kitty’s parents, Charles and Mae Andersen, disapproved of her union with José, claiming the Cuban immigrant was too young to wed at age 19. At the time, Kitty was only 21.

“My family wasn’t pleased when they got married. They didn’t think she knew him well enough or was accustomed to his ways,” VanderMolen said, adding that her sister was enamored with José’s charm and money. “He probably behaved as well as he knew how while they were courting.”

“[Our dad] tried to get fresh with both of us,” VanderMolen shared. “I don’t understand these women that can love people that are not gentlemen. But they do. It’s amazing. Kitty should have left Jose long before [the murders].The boys tried to get her to leaveand they promised her they would take care of her.”

She thinks defense attorney Leslie Abramson did a “superb” job defending her nephews

Erik Menendez, Leslie Abramson and Lyle Menendez in 1994.Ted Soqui/Sygma via Getty

Ted Soqui/Sygma via Getty

Erik and Lyle were arrested for murdering their parents in 1990. Theirfirst trialbegan in 1993, in which they were tried separately. Defense attorney Leslie Abramson took the lead in defending Erik, while Jill Lansing represented Lyle. Ultimately, the trial resulted in a hung jury.

The second trial began in 1995. The Menendez brothers were tried together in front of a single jury and eventually convicted on two counts of first-degree murder. They were sentenced to life in prison without parole in 1996.

Abramsom represented Erik again in the second trial, however, Judge StanleyWeisberg limited the number of witnesses the defense was able to call regarding theallegations of abuse. This did not settle well with VanderMolen.

“There was no defense whatsoever that would be allowed. There was no trial at all. Everything [Erik’s] lawyer said was shut down,” she said toVanity Fair. “[Abramson] couldn’t get anything [admitted into evidence]. It was like the abuse never happened. It wasn’t fair at all. I don’t know how the jury reached a verdict after a trial so nuts.”

VanderMolen remembers telling Abramson that she did a “superb” job trying to defend her nephews.

She believes Lyle and Erik should be released from prison

Erik Menendez and Lyle Menendez mugshots.California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation/AP

California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation/AP

VanderMolen has fiercely defended Lyle and Erik for more than 35 years. While she knows that they murdered her sister and brother-in-law, she has forgiven them.

“[Kitty] was behind everything Jose did and she knew what was going on. And how could you not [do something]? It makes me sick that Erik — that anybody had to go through that,” VanderMolen toldVanity Fair.

While Erik and Lyle were growing up, VanderMolen said that she and her daughters, Diane and Kathleen, witnessed signs of abuse in the Menendez home.

During the 1993 trial, Diane was called to the witness stand to testify to the molestation accusations against José. She recalled Lyle telling her that José would touch his genitalia, but when she informed Kitty of this, her aunt didn’t believe her.

“It’s affected her whole life. She loves those boys so much,” VanderMolen said of Diane. “It breaks my heart to even talk about it. Kitty didn’t listen. It was devastating for Diane.”

She said: “He couldn’t enjoy a meal without his lemon because of the [oral] assaults. You don’t get over something like that. He still needs lemon with his meals. It’s a habit now.”

VanderMolen toldVanity Fairthat the Menendez brothers, whom she talks to weekly, are “hopeful” about the future.

“I care so much about them. They didn’t deserve any of this. They were used and abused and there seems to be no end to it,” she added. “We love Erik and Lyle. I hope our support gets them where they should be, and that’s not in prison.”

Over 20 relatives of Lyle and Erikorganized a press conferencein October 2024 to encourage District Attorney George Gascón to recommend a resentencing. The DA said his office would be reviewing the new evidence and scheduled a hearing for Nov. 29.

“It breaks my heart that my sisterKitty knew what was happeningand did nothing about it, that we knew of,” she said. “They never knew if tonight would be the night they would be raped. It’s time for them to come home. No child should have to endure what Lyle and Erik had to at the hands of their father,”

Her brother Milton doesn’t believe Lyle and Erik were abused

Lyle Menendez, Kitty Menendez and Erik Menendez.Netflix

In 2023, Milton Andersen spoke withThe New York Timesabout the allegations against José, claiming that the entertainment executive was not a sexual predator and never harmed his kids.

“They do not deserve to walk on the face of this earth after killing my sister and my brother-in-law,” Milton said of Lyle and Erik.

While speaking toVanity Faira year later, VanderMolen called her brother an “a——.” She added: “He used to call me once in a while and I finally explained to him, ‘I can’t talk to you.’ I hurt for him.”

She appeared in Netflix’sThe Menendez Brothers

Joan VanderMolen in ‘The Menendez Brothers’.Netflix

Prior to speaking withVanity Fair, VanderMolen appeared in Netflix’s documentaryThe Menendez Brothersand recalled the media frenzy that ensued following the murders of Kitty andJosé.

“I calledJay Leno’s show one time to protest them making fun of [Erik and Lyle]. That’s all they did. They just made fun of them,” she shared. “I was told that we were public property now and they could do what they wanted.”

source: people.com