Woman Says She Won't Let Her 'Tough Love' In-Laws Discipline Her Child

Mar. 15, 2025

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A young mother recently shared that she is fed up with her in-laws trying to discipline her child.In a recent post on Reddit’s “Am I the A——?,” the woman, 29 said she and her husband, 32, are parents to a 3-year-old daughter and have “always had very clear and well established parenting that works well for us and for her.“However, the newly increased frequency of seeing her in-laws has led to them attempting to interfere in her parenting methods.“Enter my in-laws. Prior to having our daughter, we’ve began to see them more frequently - tends to be around ten times a month, whereas before then it would be maybe once/twice, because Ronan [her husband] has a reasonably strained relationship with them (particularly his mum),” the woman explained.Never miss a story — sign up forPEOPLE’s free daily newsletterto stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.She continued, adding that her husband’s strained relationship with his mother was “because she “was one of those people who couldn’t let him have his own privacy, constantly looking through his room, asking where/when/with who he was going even into late teens.““He never completely cut contact but they’ve been better since we had our daughter and he didn’t want to completely cut them out of being grandparents,” she added.The woman also shared that she, her husband and her in-laws differ greatly regarding their parenting styles, a fact that came to a head when her in-laws recently attempted to harshly discipline their daughter.She first noted that her husband’s parents have a” different approach to discipline” and “it’s very shouty/punishment based.“Meanwhile, she and her husband favor “calm discussions, occasional time-outs, and natural consequences” over the “tough love” approach.Their differences in parenting styles came to a head when the couple “went to go and see his parents, and she had a tantrum over her grandad taking her favorite toy from her because ‘she’s too old for it now.’ “The situation escalated when the woman said her mother-in-law “raised her voice and said, ‘Behave or else!’ ““I tried to remain calm with the situation and told them that we won’t discipline her that way, and asked that they leave any disciplinary actions to Ronan and I to deal with,” she said.This woman’s in-laws were offended at her statement, and doubled down on their criticism of her parenting methods.“They were offended and said that we were coddling her, and that their methods are ‘tried and true.’ “Ultimately, her husband stepped in and said they would raise their daughter “how we believe best.““We left shortly after this and his in-laws think that I was overreacting and that I’m the problem,” the woman concluded.The Reddit user proclaimed that she “just wants what’s best for our daughter” and asked fellow users for their opinion/“You see your in-laws way too often. Why the hell would they believe they can decide she is too old for her favorite toy?” one person asked. “They always overstepped with your husband and now, they’re overstepping with your kid. Stop putting your kids in the position to be stolen from, yelled at and treated poorly.“Another person chimed in to suggest the woman employ a time-out of sorts for her in-laws to illustrate how unfairly they treated her daughter.“Tell your in-laws that they are correct, you’ve been too soft, tough love is needed,” the Reddit user wrote. “They are now in a 2 week time out for bad behavior … Any further bad behavior will result in the extension of the punishment. Then don’t visit for 2 weeks (or longer if need be).”

A young mother recently shared that she is fed up with her in-laws trying to discipline her child.

In a recent post on Reddit’s “Am I the A——?,” the woman, 29 said she and her husband, 32, are parents to a 3-year-old daughter and have “always had very clear and well established parenting that works well for us and for her.”

However, the newly increased frequency of seeing her in-laws has led to them attempting to interfere in her parenting methods.

“Enter my in-laws. Prior to having our daughter, we’ve began to see them more frequently - tends to be around ten times a month, whereas before then it would be maybe once/twice, because Ronan [her husband] has a reasonably strained relationship with them (particularly his mum),” the woman explained.

Never miss a story — sign up forPEOPLE’s free daily newsletterto stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

She continued, adding that her husband’s strained relationship with his mother was “because she “was one of those people who couldn’t let him have his own privacy, constantly looking through his room, asking where/when/with who he was going even into late teens.”

“He never completely cut contact but they’ve been better since we had our daughter and he didn’t want to completely cut them out of being grandparents,” she added.

The woman also shared that she, her husband and her in-laws differ greatly regarding their parenting styles, a fact that came to a head when her in-laws recently attempted to harshly discipline their daughter.

She first noted that her husband’s parents have a” different approach to discipline” and “it’s very shouty/punishment based.”

Meanwhile, she and her husband favor “calm discussions, occasional time-outs, and natural consequences” over the “tough love” approach.

Their differences in parenting styles came to a head when the couple “went to go and see his parents, and she had a tantrum over her grandad taking her favorite toy from her because ‘she’s too old for it now.’ "

The situation escalated when the woman said her mother-in-law “raised her voice and said, ‘Behave or else!’ "

“I tried to remain calm with the situation and told them that we won’t discipline her that way, and asked that they leave any disciplinary actions to Ronan and I to deal with,” she said.

This woman’s in-laws were offended at her statement, and doubled down on their criticism of her parenting methods.

“They were offended and said that we were coddling her, and that their methods are ‘tried and true.’ "

Ultimately, her husband stepped in and said they would raise their daughter “how we believe best.”

“We left shortly after this and his in-laws think that I was overreacting and that I’m the problem,” the woman concluded.

The Reddit user proclaimed that she “just wants what’s best for our daughter” and asked fellow users for their opinion/

“You see your in-laws way too often. Why the hell would they believe they can decide she is too old for her favorite toy?” one person asked. “They always overstepped with your husband and now, they’re overstepping with your kid. Stop putting your kids in the position to be stolen from, yelled at and treated poorly.”

Another person chimed in to suggest the woman employ a time-out of sorts for her in-laws to illustrate how unfairly they treated her daughter.

“Tell your in-laws that they are correct, you’ve been too soft, tough love is needed,” the Reddit user wrote. “They are now in a 2 week time out for bad behavior … Any further bad behavior will result in the extension of the punishment. Then don’t visit for 2 weeks (or longer if need be).”

source: people.com